i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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