the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
