I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Found your dick twin last night
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
