Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
