I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
