We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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