am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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