are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
