He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize