Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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