brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
