I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
