Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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