She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Sacagawea was the original milf.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
