Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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