Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
