moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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