Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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