sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
