Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
