I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize