Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
