Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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