in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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