i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize