ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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