You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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