And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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