I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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