i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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