someone owes me an orgasm
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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