am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize