We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if i died would you start the facebook group?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
is it fun? or sober?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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