I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
