He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
