My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
