Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
even my farts smell like vagina
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
