Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize