Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
