My first STD was from a foam party
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
