he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
send nudes
from the living room?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
