perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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