i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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