Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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