and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize