There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
