Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
