Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
