So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
