scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
