Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
