my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
