her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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