i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
