I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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