Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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