In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
