i would punch a child for taco bell
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You're like the curious george of whores
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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