White coat. Heels.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize